She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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