I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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