Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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