Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
