The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
