Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just tell him i said nine months
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
