I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
