I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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