i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
