Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
...so i touched it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
