I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
too bad you live with your parents still
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
