I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
