I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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