There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
