if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
