he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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