I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
