butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
