his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
