YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
