I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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