Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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