I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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