This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
