Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
