AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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