You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
worst night to have a conscience
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
