But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize