People in love make me want to vomit
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
