better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
