you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
