I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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