This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
