This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
