I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
