i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
