I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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