oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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