Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
