saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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