There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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