Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize