the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
