I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
