these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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