Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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