Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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