dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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