I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
