why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
