Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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