Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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