i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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