yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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