You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
