Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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