Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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