I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
