cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
