Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
