When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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